That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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