That's intense
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
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And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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