i just had sex bonerless
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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