So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
