When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
