I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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