Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
