btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
