Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize