I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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