And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
