some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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