Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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