I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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