Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
