she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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