I'm going to jail i love you
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
