I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
