the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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