Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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