At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
