Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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