oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
