my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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