she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
