whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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