there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
