ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
