I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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