my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
