Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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