i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
