I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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