When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize