i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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