I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
