You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
