is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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