Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
