she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
