thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
