There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
