just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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