If that was your dad, he is hot
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
