This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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