clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
