you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
