That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
