It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
