My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just invented taco cereal.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
