I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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