im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
