I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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