It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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