I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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