My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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