do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
