Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
