Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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