i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
