Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
