they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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