I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Acid is not a monday night drug
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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