Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize