I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
