Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
