We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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