evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
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